Stolen from somewhere on the internet. I have no clue where.
It's probably smart of me to preface this blog post with the following statement: This is my freak out. I'ma piss some of ya'll off. And I don't really care. Oh and there's a lot of the usage of the word fuck. If you don't like that word do not read on. This is me sticking up for the regular drinking folks.
I've been doing some serious thinking lately. Yeah, sometimes that happens. A lot of this "thinking" came about from reading craft beer articles. Do's and Don'ts articles, Must Drink In This Glassware or else articles or even Higher ABV is Better and You're a Pussy If You Don't Like It articles.
Shits getting old and I'm sure I have been guilty in the past of writing shit just like that. Not any more. I'm tired of it. Seriously, who gives a shit what glass you are drinking your beer out of at home? No one. Is it your favorite glass/stein/mug? Good. Use it. I don't need a glass specially designed by fucking NASA and costs $200 to drink my beer.
No more beer reviews. I think my Abita Spring IPA will be the last beer review I do. Why? Because it's so goddamn pretentious. I have trouble writing them. All I can picture is some douchebag swirling and sniffing his beer. Fucking shut up and drink the beer. Do you like it? Yeah? Good. Now shut the fuck up and keep drinking it. Note: Bret can keep doing his because he is drunk and in bed doing them. It's funny.
I signed up for the corn hole tournament at the New Orleans International Beer Festival this weekend and I am super pumped to be in it. Beer drinking games and stuff like this are usually reserved for the macro crowd and that sucks. Why the fuck can't we have awesome games too? Oh, we can? FUCK YEAH! Beer pong I am ready!
To ya'll who say higher ABV is better. You're wrong. Having a high ABV beer every once in awhile is great but not all the time. Gimme my low ABV. And lot's of em. Craft breweries take note. Low ABV is the future. Just my opinion.
To all of you folks who think hop bombs are the only way to drink and all of us who don't drink that way are pussies? That's retarded. I like hoppy beers. Sometimes. Not all the time. I don't want my tastebuds completely destroyed all the time,
Craft beer dinners. Yeah, this is next. And yeah, this is where people will get pissed if they aren't already. Craft beer dinners can be fun. I have been to a couple that I enjoyed. That being said I didn't pay for either of them. $50 for one persons dinner? As my friend Megan Capone says, "Sweet Creole Jesus"! I don't like paying $50 for my whole family to eat out. And $50 is on the LOW end for beer dinners. I have seen $75 beer dinners. Holy balls that's expensive! Even if I were rich I wouldn't pay that much for a one person dinner. ONE PERSON! WTF? I can order a pizza from Midway and bust out beers from my own goddamn collection and save like $30. And that can feed like 3 damn people! Good lord. Not all of us in New Orleans work in IT or Computer Engineering. I think I may have a Po' Mans Beer Dinner. It's BYOB. Bet we have some of the best beers not available in New Orleans too.
And you know what? I like Yuengling. I don't need your opinion on how it tastes like shit or isn't craft beer. What do I care about? Unlike Bud, Miller or Coors it's from an American owned company and I like it. I'm drinking it. Not you. If you don't like it don't drink it.
I think that's it. I'm done bitching for now. I'm sure some of you probably feel the same way on some of these issues. Some of you will disagree and feel the need to blast me via comment. Go ahead. I'll even post your rant about me. Cause in the end you're proving my point. I'm beginning to feel like craft beer is taking itself way to seriously. This is beer not wine man. I always picture craft beer like Animal House. Craft beer is the Delta Tau Chi House not the Omega Theta Pi House. Those guys sucks.
The Beer Buddha