Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The Beer Buddha's 2012 Worst of Louisiana Beer List

I've been watching everyone come out with their "best of" lists lately.  All of them are great and captured the 2012 Louisiana beer scene well.  But nobody was willing to come out with their worst list.  I am.  Here ya go.  And if any of you take this too seriously you really should stop reading my blog.

1)  Worst Released Beer in Louisiana 2012:  Curious Traveler Summer Shandy

Sorry guys at Curious Traveler or Sam Adams or whatever you are.  I really disliked this one.  I like the idea of a shandy but tasting Pine Sol is just too much.  I feel a shandy is a beverage to be mixed on the spot not something you can bottle.  Just my thoughts.

2)   Worst Beer Let Down in Louisiana 2012:  NOLA Brewing/Stone Collaboration Pour Me Somethin' Mistah

Alright I will probably get some shit for this one and that's okay.  I was really let down by this beer.  Didn't like it.  Not sure why but I just didn't.  Perhaps being so mentally psyched for this brew screwed me on the taste.  It's very possible.  I tried it numerous times and me and this beer just didn't get along.  I still love me some NOLA Brewing.  Just not this beer.

3)  Worst Beer Release in Louisiana 2012:  Westvleteren 12

A lot of you didn't hear what I heard regarding this release.  If you had you would agree.  This beer release was the biggest clusterfuck since the Saints got rid of all their draft picks for Ricky Williams.  NO ONE but the abbey was allowed to profit from the sale of these beers.  The distributor, the store, no one.  Well except the assholes that sold their beers on ebay and the one local douchebag on Craigslist. They made more money than anyone.  And the whole point of the abbey maintaining SO much control was to make sure this kind of crap didn't happen.  Great job monks! You failed.

4)  Worst Louisiana City To Open a Brewery:  New Orleans

It's been 3 years since NOLA Brewing opened and we STILL only have one brewery in city limits. Hell, we have one opening in Chalmette.  Fucking Chalmette people!!???  WTF?  One opened in Lafayette.  One is opening in the Houma area.  We MAY have another one opening in New Orleans but not sure how far they have gotten with permits and shit.  We don't even have a brewpub opening that I know of.  Yes, yes, I know we have Gordon Biersch and Crescent City.  Our city laws suck and need to be changed.  No one in the city limits is encouraged to open a brewery with our crappy laws and that's bullshit.  And yes, our state laws suck too.  I think those are being worked on though.  We shall see.

5)  Worst Beer Distributor in Louisiana 2012:  ?

Yeah, I'm not going here.  I'm not that stupid.   Let me just give a shout out to Southern Eagle and Crescent Crown for doing a great job acquiring new beers and helping create more craft beer love in Louisiana.

6)  Worst Louisiana Brewery 2012:  Dixie Brewing

I'm giving this to Dixie in the hopes that the owners will realize the opportunity they have.  Bring it home.  Have one of our extremely talented people here in the state reformulate the recipe and sell the balls out of this beer.  Who the hell wouldn't want 16oz Dixie tall boys for a crawfish boil?  Get with it Bruno's!  My 6 year old daughter could do a better job with this local brand than ya'll.  Look at the success of Pabst and even Narragansett.  Sell it to someone who cares.  PLEASE!

7)  Worst Beer Bar in New Orleans 2012:  Cooter Browns

Dude.  Seriously  Stop going here for a great craft beer experience.  If you are looking for 17 big screen TVs to watch your Saints while you eat mediocre bar food and drink your Abita Amber okay cool.  Any place that is too lazy to update their beer list since the late 90s doesn't deserve your business.  Either that or they are illegally selling Breckenridge and they REALLY stocked up on some Dixie White Moose and Rikenjacks.   And dear Draft Magazine:  STOP putting this place on your damn lists.

That's it.  I only have 7.  Honestly we had so much awesome shit happen in the Louisiana craft beer arena coming up with this list was hard.  Yes, most of it is me just being stupid.  Some of it is me being serious though.  The Dixie thing for sure.  It's crazy to watch the owners just allow a brand that DOES have so much potential to just die a slow death.  The beer much like the old building is just a shell waiting to die.  Or to rebuilt.

Hope you enjoyed me having a little fun at the expense of others though.  Kirk Coco I still love you guys!


The Beer Buddha

1 comment:

Joel Ohmer said...

Tell us how you REALLY feel! mwahahahaah!

Awesome post!